What's the advantage to working like a cat?
How did you learn to work like a cat?
Why haven’t cats made their mark on the workplace before?
Are all offices full of dogs?
What happens when you work like a cat?
Is there a downside?

Q. What’s the advantage to working like a cat?

A. Obviously, it beats working like a dog. We’ve all been there, done that, and it’s exhausting, not to mention boring and thankless. For every stupid stick you chase, your boss has a bushel more under his desk. BACK TO TOP

Q. How did you learn to work like a cat?

A. It was mostly trial and error. I always had CATitude. I mostly preferred to work alone and believed that superior results would speak for themselves. But my approach was too feral and I kept getting fired. In 2002, I finally took a huge feline leap and started working alone at home. My cats, Fred, Yul, and Adele, are my only co-workers. We earn a decent living, but they spend their days lounging around and napping while I pound the keyboard. They remind me to stop stressing over things I can control and to stop caring about things I can’t control. BACK TO TOP

Q. Why haven’t cats made their mark on the workplace before?

A. Why should they? Most organizations place a lot of emphasis on teamwork, a civilized term for ruthless backstabbing and one-upmanship. Dogs fall for it every time. You never see teams of cats. No one speeds across a frozen tundra in a catsled pulled by a dozen husky Persians. When a situation becomes unmanageable, it’s said to be “like herding cats.” Management is wary of cats because they can’t be brainwashed and controlled. But dogs and their simple code of obedience will never move mankind forward. It’s going to take the cunning of cats. With all the misinformation out there about mouse power, cats have decided it’s time to set things straight. BACK TO TOP

Q. Are all offices full of dogs?

A. No. Most offices are crawling with vermin. That’s why a silly book about two mice chasing elusive piles of cheese became a huge bestseller. But since the Middle Ages, there’s been no time in history more perfect for cats to move in and assert themselves. Rodents may enjoy scampering through corporate mazes for management’s amusement, but any cat will leap over the walls and wipe out that infestation. Remember, rats got the credit for starting the Black Plague, but cats ended it. BACK TO TOP

Q. What happens when you work like a cat?

A. First, you can relax because you know you have what it takes to deal with whatever they dish out—or you simply ignore it. When people see that you aren’t going to fetch, roll over, and play dead for them, they stop bothering you because there’s no payoff. You can pretty much do as you please, and you’ll become a hero in the process because others will envy your CATitude. BACK TO TOP

Q. Is there a downside?

A. You’ll inspire a lot of cheesy imitators. But most of your co-workers won’t have the je ne sais quois to pull off the transformation. In trying to follow you, they’ll find themselves out on a limb. This is exactly where you want them so they’ll stop bothering you. Most workplaces won’t be able to handle more than a few cats until this concept becomes as common as The Peter Principle. You just need to make sure you’re one of the first cats and set the standards. Good luck! BACK TO TOP